61 Days of Halloween- Crawlspace

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Crawlspace

David Schmoeller on set with Klaus Kinski. (Empire Pictures)

Crawlspace is the kind of film that just misses. What is worse is that it wastes the talents of Klaus Kinski. He does as much as he can in a role that isn’t quite up to snuff for an actor of his caliber. The issue with the character ends up being one of the ones with the film. While the voice over is well written too much of what we know about our lead is learned through it, such that it renders more nebulous than necessary the one motif it leaves as mostly visual.

The set up is all well and good, to an extent. Things are little vague but you do get a quick kill and a sense of the mania that infests this man’s mind.

Although somewhat clumsily introduced the information we find and some of the scenes we watch are rather compelling. Particularly the confrontations with a man seeking justice for the death of his brother. Where things come apart for good are during the climax as there is a very awkward crawling chase through the ventilation system that takes far too long.

Aside from that the film spends an overwhelming amount of time with Kinski’s character, which is fine but there is not enough time spent with who we are supposed to root for at the end. Moreover, her one major appearance in the middle portion of the film, while intellectually accurate (maybe), doesn’t endear her to us. It’s a film that’s setting you up for a very macabre ending but then asks you to root for the same old, same old when it hasn’t really been earned.

5/10

61 Days of Halloween- Aftermath

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Aftermath

Aftermath (Waken productions)

Both this film and the next one, Genesis, are a prime example of why streaming video is an absolute boon and why Netflix and the studios should reach as many agreements as necessary to free up material for streaming. If more is available more hidden gems are available to stream.

Such is the case with the short films of Nacho Cerda. Now I will rarely do this but it bares saying that due to the subject matter and the disturbingly realistic way in which it is depicted viewer discretion is advised and there is no circumstance in which anyone under 18 should be watching Aftermath. The weak of heart and stomach need not apply.

There is no dialogue in Aftermath, with the quick cuts and pans at the beginning of the film combined with the classical music score there is a lyrical terror that mounts in this film. What is most affecting in this film is that there is no escape, redemption or refuge offered.

So you know what we’re dealing with here the film tells the tale of a woman who has died in a car accident and the events that transpire in a morgue when one deranged mortician is left alone with her and proceeds to both mutilate and defile her.

Both the practical effects and sound effects in this film are great and get under your skin before you even realize where this film is taking you. This is the kind of film that works on you psychologically because the terror is real and relatable and all you can hope for the victim is some sort of divine intervention and it doesn’t come. It’s the kind of film that will burn itself in your mind and it is masterfully crafted.

There is a sort of perverse refraction of visual themes between the first scene and the last and a cruel little twist that punctuates and compounds the terror that has just unfolded.

10/10

61 Days of Halloween- Santa’s Slay

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Santa’s Slay

What actually prompted me to watch Santa’s Slay was an article. When you list a movie as being so bad it must be seen then I’m interested, regardless of that fact that an evil Santa is already of interest. I must say that I am most grateful for that article for finally convincing me to see it. Now I will say this it while it doesn’t make the grade as a good movie it is also not a waste of time and rather enjoyable as a bad film, it’s not Troll 2 but then again what is?

Now most of why I can’t go there and say this film is good is the story which while original is lacking. Let’s put it this way Santa has been prevented from going on a homicidal rampage for 1000 years because he lost a game to an angel, a game which can most accurately be described as curling, while I have come to love curling had I known the fate of mankind hinged on it I would’ve started watching it at a younger age. It’s hard to tell whether that’s so bad it’s good. Yet, Santa is also a demon and the result of an immaculate conception which was initiated by, in my best Church Lady voice, Satan!

The dialogue is also a double-edged sword some of it is very tin-eared, all of Santa’s lines are a punny mess but some are home runs and absolutely hysterical.

The casting in certain places is very off. The opening scene is a who’s who of “Really? You’re in this movie?” featuring James Caan, Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan but for some reason Santa is played by wrestler-turned-actor Bill Goldberg. Yet the cast isn’t without its highlights like Douglas Smith as the hero. Smith who has always done very well with whatever part he’s landed but just hasn’t gotten anything as high profile as his older brother Greg.

There is a countdown, which due to the actual short running time of this film, seems a bit rushed. However, that’s the only real issue of pace. If there’s one thing you can give this film without qualification is that it doesn’t have any struggles with pace at all.

Another bonus in this film is, while it’s not particularly well done, there is a little Rankin & Bass style animation sequence to illustrate the backstory of Santa and the Angel’s agreement.

And, yes, it does need to be said that some of the kills are quite good and funny so this film does keep a sense of humor about itself and doesn’t have any pretensions about it which makes it watchable and to an extent enjoyable.

5/10

61 Days of Halloween- The Stuff

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

The Stuff

Frank Telfer and Colette Blonigan in The Stuff (Larco/ Anchor Bay Entertainment)

The one word that can be used to describe Larry Cohen’s film The Stuff is “Wow.” Now this is a word that can be used in a bad thing or a good thing and in this case it is definitely good.

If you’ve heard of Larry Cohen (or even if you haven’t) this is the film to watch as an introduction. It is so annoying to watch people think they have a “scary story” and botch it up so badly. The Stuff is a perfect example of what Larry Cohen does. He works with low-budgets and knows he has a cheesy premise most times but has no delusions of grandeur and works with it as opposed to against it and yet because of that manages to make his point.

He skates the fine line between horror and comedy perfectly. This movie is a perfect introduction to his style and it’s a whole lot of fun. Not only do Cohen’s films not take themselves seriously but they manage to layer subtext in smoothly and easily whereas “real horror” so often fails to do. The Stuff is filled with laughs, the occasional gross-out and great ensemble acting featuring Michael Moriarty as Mo Rutherford the man trying to find the secrets of the stuff, Paul Sorvino as Colonel Malcom Grommett Spears and original SNL cast member Garrett Morris as ‘Chocolate Chip’ Charlie.

It is funny but yet is also an apt satire of 1980s in many ways but also by having this food being a living organism which consumes those who eat it it falls into the horror realm. It also leads to one of the great lines in the film “Are you eating it or is it eating you?” Watch it now!

8/10

61 Days of Halloween- The Curse

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

The Curse

Wil Wheaton in The Curse (Trans World Entertainment)

Granted, this like most adaptations of Lovecraft is quite changed but from those I’ve seen so far this has been the most faithful. Lovecraft is often described as un-filmable and it’s interesting to note that a few people will reportedly step up to the challenge in the near future, namely Guillermo Del Toro with At the Mountains of Madness (currently scrapped but rumors persist) and Ron Howard with a Lovecraft-inspired tale.

As for the film at hand it is based on “The Colour Out of Space,” which is quite an eerie tale scribed by the master of supernatural fiction and this movie captures that. Yes, there are some very cliché things in this film and David Keith couldn’t direct a PSA but yet this movie manages to work mostly due to the handling and quasi-faithfulness to the tale.

The movie is just freaky. It scared me quite a bit and I don’t scare easily. It’s not too proud to be grotesque. Had Claude Akins and Wil Wheaton not been in the cast it might have been just another hackneyed contrived 80s slasher film but their performances coupled with a unique and affecting score make it work.

I was quite uncertain as to whether I wanted to see this or not. Now I’m glad I did.

If you are interested it is available as a combo-pack on both Amazon.

9/10

61 Days of Halloween- Freaks

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Freaks

Freaks (MGM)

I was told by a film professor that this was the only horror film he’d ever seen that had any sort of ‘timeless resonance’ with him. Upon seeing the film and reading these reviews I’m left scratching my head. The one word that came to mind as I was watching this movie was “flat.”

Also, there are a few misconceptions about this film:

One, aside form the ending there is no horror in this film it is a drama that toes the line uneasily with melodrama, melodrama in a bad sense as the word is not necessarily always a pejorative.

Two, I don’t find the freaks vulgar and/or offensive which is what categorizing this film as horror indicates. While their plight is sad and this film does portray their objectification well but in the end all it does is feed on our juvenile fear of the odd-thing which frankly doesn’t frighten me.

Freaks was a shocking film and controversial upon its release, however, now it merely comes across as dated. If you wanted a list of milestones in horror film history this film would be there, however, on a ten best list I’d most definitely exclude it. Milestones and great films are not always one in the same.

6/10

61 Days of Halloween: All the Colors of the Dark

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

All the Colors of the Dark

All the Colors of the Dark (Shriek Show)

This is the kind of film that proves an axiom that is even more true of the giallo subgenre than it is of the horror as a whole. While some may disagree on the percentage the premise is this: only 10% of horror films are good, honestly and truly good.

The giallo subgenre has many trappings which make this equation at times even harder. This film follows the basic rules: there is a female protagonist, a secret buried in the past that if unearthed may lead to the identity of the killer which is a mystery.

This one just fails to work in many instances. One reason is that the web of conspirators against our lead is far too large. While it is good that a seemingly innocuous plot point may have cleared things up you wonder why the caller was so arcane and why the lead wasn’t curious enough.

The set up does work well. There is even some disturbing dream imagery that throws you off the scent a bit too much. However, the whole film becomes far too concerned with blurring the line between dream and reality. It makes you wonder if Fellini ever secretly regretted opening 8 1/2 in a dream though he can’t be held accountable for this kind of hackneyed use of a dream beginning.

The cinematography at times gets quite clumsy even for the surrealistic effect that is sought.

While the involvement of a cult in this story is interesting it is typically a move that ends up being a trap. For every positive scene that is introduced due to this aspect there is another which is less desirable that can come in to play because its hard to swallow how any are in this particular cult.

This film not only has dreams but it would appear visions which eventually are so exploited that they lose all effectiveness.

5/10

Mini-Review Round-Up #4

This is something I’m going to do periodically. Basically, I will employ many means to qualify films for the BAM Awards be it either seeing the film theatrically acquiring a DVD either through purchase or on Netflix. This could lead to an influx of several new titles being seen in a short span of time which would be difficult to write full reviews for. At least this way the film gets some of its deserved attention and you get some notion of my thoughts on them.

If you have questions or comments feel free to respond. I always get back.

As always please refer to My Rating Scale for an indication of what the scores mean and if you’re curious where these films might make a dent in my personal awards please check my BAM Considerations.

The Inheritance

Rochelle Aytes in The Inheritance (Duly Noted)

A family reunion in the country quickly becomes something more insidious.

I use the word quickly above almost for the lack of a better word. There’s nothing quick about The Inheritance, it all takes far too long to unravel, too many things are played close to the vest and by the time secrets are spilled and the true intention starts to come out it’s too late to salvage it. The idea is interesting: it’s a generational tale going back to slavery and mixing in voodoo aspects, however, all the information finally flows in a barrage and then you get bad effects towards the end and truly anticlimactic escape. It all could’ve gone somewhere very interesting but never gets its momentum going.

3/10

Stake Land

Connor Paolo in Stake Land (IFC Films)

A post-apocalyptic world wherein vampires rule and it’s kill or be killed.

There is a lot going for this film from cinematography to score to a well-delivered, at times poetic, at times humorous narration by the lead Connor Paolo. Where Stake Land struggles some is in its pace. There are some potentially rather huge situations glossed over and a lot of time is dedicated to roaming the abandoned countryside. There is also a lot of great acting in this film. While it is recommended viewing it’s also nowhere near as good as it could’ve been.

7/10

Dream Home

Josie Ho in Dream Home (IFC Films)

A woman will do anything to get her dream home.

This is almost like two different movies entirely. I get how they connect but while I appreciate the bit of time traveling done by the narrative in the beginning, and the subtext at the end in the nice simple button, but I really just could not get into this one. The film goes out of its way to explain why this means so much to her and thus we identify but it all seems so superficial. It is rather suspenseful, the kills are great but it ends up feeling a bit vacuous. It almost would’ve been better if the film tried its hand at subtext more and didn’t get so cutesy with the whodunit. Instead, we eventually get all the pieces, put them in place and say “So what?” Sometimes I’d rather be confused and intrigued at times than lucid and unimpressed.

5/10

The Reef

Adrienne Pickering in The Reef (Image Entertainment)

It’s a shark attack movie.

Not to disparage it in the synopsis section but that’s what it is. It’s one in the Open Water mold and while the performances are good a very believable the film takes the concept of slow burn a bit too far such that it burns out. It becomes completely and totally uninteresting and after a while downright boring. There’s only so much of people treading water, or even swimming, that you can take before it becomes mind-numbing shark or no shark. The score does nothing to heighten the tension and there’s really no drama to the whole affair. I will grant that it’s more realistic than most of the goofy shark movies as of late and more interesting but it still doesn’t make it good.

4/10

Fright Flick

Allyn Carrell in Fright Flick (Breaking Glass Pictures)

The story is that of a series of murders on a film set.

One of the first problem this film runs into is that it’s about a cheesy low budget horror movie. It starts with a film-within-a-film and you’re thinking “Wow, is it going to be this terrible throughout?” The good news is no it’s not; the bad news is it doesn’t get much better. The gore effects are really strong, when the chips are down some of the performances are decent but the characters are pathetic and so are some of the performances at times, only some are consistently annoying throughout. A lot of the inconsistency stems from the direction just upload it on instant and watch the in-credits scene and you’ll see the confusion that plagues this film. The standout performances are those of Chad Allen and Allyn Carrell.

3/10

Review- Final Destination 5

Jacqueline MacInnes Wood and Nicholas D'Agosto in Final Destination 5 (Warner Bros./New Line)

Were I to be completely and totally hateful I’d start this review with something like: “Final Destination 5, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways” and I would do so without any sort of qualifications. Instead I will qualify this review by stating the following:

I have gone to see each and every Final Destination film willingly and while two of them have been atrociously bad at the very least they had me come coming back. I absolutely love the first installment of the series without any reservation and I still think there are possibilities in the concept which keeps bringing me back but this…this is a train wreck and not the kind where you wanna stick around and watch either. It’s just nightmarishly bad almost from the word go. So what makes this one so much worse than the others? Now, I can say with far much less crassness than I would’ve otherwise, let me count the ways:

Firstly, I think all the sequels have struggled in terms of casting, there aren’t that many Devon Sawas around these day to plop into these kinds of films, however, I cannot recall the last time I was this appalled and offended by the ineptitude of the cast of a film. I will not name the names but you have the internet use the IMDb. The most prominent characters in the film are portrayed by those with the least chops or the least faith in the material. If you look at those top three there is at least one who has proven in the past she can act so part of it falls on the direction also.

However, your two leading males are made even worse by comparison when Tony Todd waltzes in for a few scenes and just blows everyone out of the water.

Now, there’s also the writing to blame. This is best evidenced by Agent Block, which I believe was likely shortened from Agent Blockhead in earlier drafts because rarely if ever have I seen a character this stupid, much less one that’s supposed to be in law enforcement. The last character I saw that was this dumb was in Satan’s Little Helper and he was a kid not a cop. Courtney B. Vance is a good actor but he cannot salvage dialogue so bad that anyone with half-a-brain who ever saw a police procedural show can punch holes in.

While one piece of the formula which was the persistence of visions (Oh, film jokes) is gone here (as there’s only one) and I’m fine with that but it’s as if they had to fill it with something and what they did fill it with is even more annoying because the paranoia they feel knowing death has a plan goes outward and it turns the movie into something it’s really not. You also have in this film fewer false alarms, near misses and chain reactions therefore while the kills might be more spectacular in execution they have less suspense leading up to them and you have here the flattest, least likable characters to date so all you’re left with is hoping for deaths that you know will happen.

It’s true I feel 80s slashers skewed the equation of the horror film where in certain cases you wanted death but even they knew better than to always kill everyone. Almost invariably there was a character you couldn’t stand that wouldn’t get it. Here it seems as if the effort has become less and less in terms of building characters that you’re at least interested in watching dodge death’s attempts.

What could possibly make bad acting, bad casting, bad writing, bad directing any worse? Oh, yeah there’s a twist too not only that but it changes the nature of this film and I really wish it hadn’t it’s as if what preceded the end of this film wasn’t bad enough it needed a little coup de grace.

All in all I can’t say I’ll give up on the franchise because there is something inherently scary about having escaped fate and then always looking over your shoulder and it takes a lot to squander that (and they did). So it’s a new low in the series that will hopefully take the next one (which there may or may not be) back to its roots.

1/10

The Importance of Being Joel Courtney

Joel Courtney (Photo: Mark Brennan)

The way Variety tells it Joel Courtney headed to Los Angeles seeking to take some acting lessons and maybe land some commercial work if he was lucky. However, he not only landed a lead in a major motion picture but has also parlayed it into three more jobs within a month of his screen debut’s release.

Things worked out much better for him than he could’ve expected as he got into the Super 8 after an extended, elaborate and at times secretive casting process. One in which Spielberg and Abrams gambled on a few newcomers (and won big time) likely in spite of studio pressure to err on the side of experience.

The casting process started with an open call.
and what can be learned on both sides of the camera in this portion of the story is that open calls can lead to something good.

Courtney’s case is one of a natural talent being discovered and it benefited not only the film but, as recent stories have shown, Courtney as well.

While some were getting tired of the glut of Taylor Lautner news a while back, as he seemed to be signing deals at a record pace, I saw it as expected and good for him. It’s always been my contention that an actor has to strike while the iron is hot especially if he/she is being offered work they want to do. Fear of over-exposure ought not be a deterrent as it is a high class problem to have. Talent will win out over perception in most cases especially when an actor fits a part perfectly.

Courtney had already shot a two-episode stint on R.L. Stine’s The Haunting Hour, a series on The Hub Network, when it was announced that he was attached not only to a new Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn film but also to an indie horror/sci-fi tale called The Healer. The films’ principal photography will occur in consecutive months (August & September) and shoot in Bulgaria and North Carolina respectively.

From being a cinematic debutant to suddenly in demand has taken about a month. Of course, as with most overnight successes, it hasn’t truly been that fast. There was a long audition process, principal photography and the worldwide press junkets and after all that one might expect Joel and the kids of Super 8 to be wary of taking on new commitments, however, many of them seem to think as I do and are seeking to keep working while there’s demand. Gabriel Basso is still a regular on The Big C and Zach Mills has signed on to be a regular on The Hub Network’s new series Clue.

In closing, I just want to address the fact that Joel is a child actor, which is for the most part virtually irrelevant. The bottom line is he’s a working actor who’s taking advantage of opportunities earned and should serve as a template for future actors who knock it out of the park upon getting their big break and that’s the importance of being Joel Courtney: not being content with or being disoriented by newfound stature but immediately seizing other great opportunities as they come along.