After the 2020 election I was perhaps going perhaps retire this page, or at the very least add a follow-up on why the Electoral College still doesn’t work (the math breaks down similarly to 2016 even with Biden flipping the EC score on Trump). Taking it down became a possibility, but as the pandemic has seriously slowed my activity on this page neither thing happened. In the end my doing neither of those things was the right decision. I won’t post much here, just as I didn’t in the intervening four years, but when things of significance arise and I feel a need to address them I want to keep the option open.
I wasn’t alone in dreading the lame duck period in the last quarter of 2020. Little did I know what would transpire. As the post-election period dragged on with Trump perpetuating the Big Lie these poems I wrote became more about venting, and maintaining my sanity, than having some kind of design attached to them.
When I discovered the Clerihew—a form of poetry irregular in its construction; four lines, two couplets, line one merely introduces the subject and it usually discusses an ignominious aspect of their life/career—it seemed a perfect way to memorialize the beggars after our democracy’s demise who were the architects of the administration. After reaching the arbitrary goal of one-a-day I was done ahead of January 20th.
Initially, the events of January 6th made me feel that any designs for these poems (merely publishing them, or publishing it with links with targeted fundraising links) seemed a unnecessary aim for a while. However, as time had gone on and the Republican Party had doubled down exponentially on its antidemocratic, fascistic leanings and sought to whitewash the events of January 6th it’s become more necessary to stay vigilant. It’s only been four months since that horrific day, which is not that long ago. Yet, other terrible events; the overwhelming, various needs of this moment in time, inaction and downplaying has made it seem an even long-past and not the active threat it is, especially with recent (and sure to continue) efforts by Republicans to derail investigations into the events of January 6th. That’s why I feel it’s important to share this now (with a link in each to potentially inspire further action).
1.
President Donald Trump,
Made of the White House a dump.
All in its employ
2.
Attorney General William Barr,
Faithful servant of the Orange Czar,
There is no institution he can’t subvert,
No law he can’t pervert.
3.
Administrator Emily Murphy,
Following the whims of President Slurpee,
Debilitating the incoming president, duly elected,
So a fragile ego remains protected.
4.
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo
Hates the song “Bamboleo,”
Promises smooth transition to second Trump Administration,
Dabbles in fascistic masturbation.
5.
Senator Roy Blunt
Is a sycophantic cunt
Saying Trump “May not have been defeated”
Asinine lies he repeated.
6.
White House advisor Peter Navarro
Echoes claims bizarro.
A PhD from Harvard
7.
Senator Lindsey Graham
A Southern honey-glazed ham
Throws millions to sway the Senate
And support Trump being obstinate.
8.
Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani,
Incoherent, sad, and whiny;
Adjacent to a dildo store
Went from America’s Mayor to America’s Whore.
9.
National Security Advisor, John Bolton
Wants to nuke the world till it’s molten.
Abandoning Trump, he cried foul,
Asked to testify, he said not now.
10.
Press Secretary, Kayleigh McEnany,
Never accused of being brainy,
Said she would never tell a lie,
Then killed the truth just to watch it die.
11.
Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett
A phony, the religious right’s parrot.
A relic of bygone fiefdoms,
She forgets the five freedoms.
12.
Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanagh,
Are you crying or naw?
Never in a flow of tears
Has one professed their love of beers.
13.
Counselor, Counselor Kenneth Starr,
How I wonder what you are
Aider? Abettor? Turncoat?
Hypocrite? Charlatan? Showboat?
14.
Advisor, so-called doctor, Scott Atlas,
You downplay the virus
Saying “rise up” fomenting insurgency
And thus exacerbate an emergency.
15.
Senator Chuck Grassley,
Likes letting people live mask-free,
Won’t congratulate Biden
Now he’s infected and hidin’.
16.
The Wayne County GOP
Wanted to speak for its citizenry,
Democracy they tried to douse,
Earning them a visit to the White House.
17.
Senator Kelly Loeffler
Shady stock shuffler.
Silent in defense of her people
She’s one of Trump’s sheeple.
18.
Vice President Mike Pence
Doesn’t have a lick of sense.
In charge of combatting corona
He’s full of bologna.
19.
Ricky Schroder
Emits a racist odor.
Freed a manslayer
To feel like a Hollywood player.
20.
Stephen Moore,
Economist turned whore,
Says Trump will leave triumphant
While irreparably damaging the elephant.
21.
Ex-Governor Chris Christie
Started with awkward complicity,
Ends with embarrassment
At attempted disestablishment.
22.
Congressman Jeff Van Drew,
A Trump knight, shiny and new,
Parlayed his defection
Into spineless re-election.
23.
Ronna McDaniel, RNC Chair,
She sees voter fraud that’s not there.
Supporting legal action
24.
Little Marco Rubio,
An anti-intellectual
Wholly ineffectual.
25.
Senator Ted Cruz
Sounds dumb without booze
Sucks up to Trump
26.
Steve Mnuchin,
The hairless capuchin,
Stimulus hiding, neat!
27.
The Disgusted Caucus,
Never raucous.
Whose lips were sealed.
28.
Chair of the FCC, Ajit Pai,
The oversized mug guy.
And loves partiality.
29.
Former Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Thinks she’s an Applebee’s Ned Flanders.
Unrepentant for all her lies
Serving the Lord of the Flies.
30.
Trump lawyer Joe diGenova
Punches Blind Justice in the ova.
Thinks Krebs should be executed.
31.
Trump lawyer Sydney Powell
Her conspiracy theories will make you howl
“Voting machines
Are very mean!”
32.
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos
Believes in learning at a high cost
She wants you wallowing in debt.
While she’s on a private jet.
33.
Representative Max Brooks
Finds honor in league with crooks.
Wants to challenge the Electoral College
Thinks someone’s been eatin’ his porridge.
34.
Senator Mitch McConnell,
Protected by his tortoiseshell,
Not when lives end.
35.
Karl Rove
The potbellied stove,
Strategist of corruption
36.
Retiring Senator Lamar Alexander,
The Tennessean Salamander,
Hopes for bipartisanship on his way out
Did nothing in his years to bring it about.
37.
Newt Gingrich
Predator in a ditch.
Left his wife when she had cancer,
The Republican Party’s private dancer.
38.
Governor Ron DeSantis
Will never recant his
Urging Trump challenging the election.
Purging voters gives him an erection.
39.
Michael Flynn
To the chagrin
Of the legal community
Had his crimes met with impunity.
40.
Anthony Scaramucci, employed eleven days.
He’s not trying to suck his own cock.
Now Trump he does mock.
41.
KellyAnne Conway
Such a long stay.
Purveyor of alternative facts
Not a scrap of integrity intact.
42.
White House Trade Advisor, Pete Navarro
Wants to be Trump’s bro.
Violates the Hatch Act
43.
Congressman Jim Jordan
Clean as an oil can.
Ignores sex crimes in plain sight,
Says a defeated POTUS should fight.
44.
Congressman Alex Mooney
A certifiable looney.
Wants to condemn saying Trump should concede
He’d much rather watch democracy bleed.
45.
Ron Johnson
Demented senator from Wisconsin
Wants to challenge the Electoral College
Because he lacks courage.
46.
Failed candidate Caroline Colarusso
Lost by forty-nine points so
She’s claiming voter fraud
Because the software was used abroad.
47.
Representative Michael Waltz
A man of many faults
Wanting to reverse the election is so unacceptable
He forced an apology from the Orlando Sentinel.
48.
Representative Dan Crenshaw
Rejected character from Hee Haw.
Smeared vets
One of Trump’s pets.
49.
First daughter Ivanka Trump
A shoe-designing Forrest Gump
Because she’s pretty
She thinks people can’t see she’s shitty.
50.
Florida Representative Matt Gaetz
Lies about COVID he perpetuates
Always one of Trumps’ best subjects
Cares not what minds or body he infects.
51.
Second Son, Eric Trump
The family chump
Tries to tweet
From his baby seat.
52.
Trump Attorney Lin Wood,
Up to no good
Says to stock up on “second amendment supplies”
He’ll be cheering while everybody dies.
53.
Donald Trump, Junior, First Son,
Debatably the worst one.
Frequently bestows upon us malediction
Is likely dealing with an addiction.
54.
Is not right y’all
Thinks the election was “stolen in many ways”
This probably why he was punched in the face.
55.
Congressman Ken Buck
Is one dumb fuck.
More concerned about a vaccine than a virus
Says he refuses, “I’m an American,” spare us.
56.
Told lies as heinous as one canst.
Led many into the mortal decline,
For the vaccine, she cuts the line.
57.
Russia Probe player George Papadopolous
To convict a coffee boy is suspicious.
Abuse of the powers of pardon
Gives Trump a hard-on.
58.
“Overturn Caucus” member Senator-Elect Tommy Tuberville,
Whose knowledge of governance is nil,
Would also like to overturn losses against Alabama
In the primary he beat someone who should be in the slammer.
59.
The bald snot
Didn’t want to give Americans money.
But he’s gotten COVID…funny.
60.
Dr. Deborah Birx
Chided Trump with condescending smirks
Despite ‘rona she skipped town,
Now she’ll no longer be around.
61.
Pardoned for sport
By a lame duck
in a clusterfuck.
62.
Roger Stone
Won’t leave us alone.
Now we can see his back tat
And his little stupid hat.
63.
Actor and religious zealot, Kirk Cameron
May end up a story in the new Decameron.
He thinks masks and stay-at-home orders unkind,
But he’ll be the one who ends up left behind.
64.
Is such an ass.
Finally calls Trump out in public
When the party’s done nothing but boot-lick.
65.
Trump in-law, Charles Kushner,
Tax evader and witness pusher,
Part of Trump’s pardon spree
Despite all the negative press covfefe.
66.
Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene
Extruded from the Qanon conspiracy machine,
My body, my choice when it comes to a mask
Giving women reproductive freedom is too big an ask.
67.
Representative Louie Gohmert,
Suing Pence on behalf of the butt-hurt,
A modern day Gomer Pyle.
68.
Senator Josh Hawley of Missouri
Seeking to inflict democracy injury
Vows to challenge election results
To spare himself Trump’s insults.
69.
Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient, Devin Nunes
Earned his dubious distinction as soon as
He crawled up Trump’s butt, doesn’t deserve it, no way, no how.
More deserving of the honor would be his cow.
70.
Representative Mary Miller
Token Nazi seat-filler
Thinks Hitler was right to indoctrinate youth,
Methinks she’s unfit to serve forsooth.
71.
Representative Lauren Boebert
Member of the Legion of the Butt-Hurt,
Tweeted today is seventeen seventy-six
Signaling dangerous lunatics.
72.
Former Representative Dana Rohrabacher
The congressional tommyknocker
Serving Russia, made America a fool
There is no Dana, there is only Zuul.
73.
Congressman Paul Gosar
Likes taking things too far,
Tried challenging Biden to a fight,
One of the leaders of the unhinged right.
74.
Alt-right slobbish soothsayer Steve Bannon
Forever in the Trump canon.
The architect of the destruction of the administrative state
Now this bastard, the law cannot castigate.
75.
Senior Advisor Stephen Miller
Aspirant psycho-killer,
Qu’est-que c’est? he’d say suspicious of you
If he wasn’t a xenophobic, racist Nosferatu.
The Movie Rat 