As mentioned in my last Shameless Self-Promotion post, today August 15th, 2026, marks the release of my first collection of poetry The Prismatic Menagerie.

You can buy the book at the link above. But I thought I’d share the gift of some cinematic observations in poetic form I’m calling…

Films Theories

1.

Is this comedy tongue-in-cheek
or does it just not open its
mouth when it speaks?

2.

How much non-diegetic content
must I consume before I am
ready to digest this film?

3.

Why do some executives
think we want screen-life movies,
so lacking in cinema and vitality?

4.

And why do YouTubers bring
us films that make even cynics
believe in the art-from again?

5.

He only watches Christopher Nolan’s
movies microscopically and believes
he understands all movies can and should be.

6.

When I see a movie
I hope someone else watches it
I don’t want A.I. to ingest and vomit
it back out onto my TV.

7.

Mae West said “I only like two kinds
of men: domestic and imported.”
I feel the same way about movies…
and men.

8.

Why are you so obsessed with
what is and isn’t canon
in a Cannonball Run reboot?

9.

The camera in a German
Expressionist film is a dog’s head
it tilts when things are unsettled.