61 Days of Halloween- Halloween: Resurrection

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Halloween: Resurrection

It’s nearly impossible to drop the ball as badly as this installment of the series does. This is the one that almost justifies starting all over from scratch. Which would be fine but the fact of the matter is no one sets out to make something terrible just so they can start over. There are no ‘rebuilding films’ you think “Oh, this’ll work.” Then when you fall flat on your face you start trying to figure out how you’re going to fix it.

What makes it so terrible is the set up is there. This film pulls off the best cross-film trick of the series. Laurie’s triumph is rendered her tragedy and in a much more convincing way than occurs in the new series Laurie ends up institutionalized.

However, in a much worse way than Part 6. This film botches a farewell. Laurie Strode is this franchise every bit as much as Michael and Dr. Loomis are. You don’t send her out the way they do such that it was a near accident. That is no blaze of glory which after four films is what she deserved.

So here you are left with an Austin Powers in Goldmember kind of set-up (“Austin caught me in the first act, what’s with that?”). Who are we to root for and who does Michael want to kill now because at this point he’s gotten everyone, except Laurie’s son but no he doesn’t go after him, this would be the rare case where I’d be for recasting, he goes after random people.

Granted these are random people who are all in his house in Haddonfield but random nonetheless. In other words these people are all expendable I could care less whether they live or die, in fact, the quicker Michael kills them the happier with this pile of slop I’ll be.

But it gets worse and here’s how: remember how there was actual social commentary thru the guise of a mid-90s shock jock in Part 6. Yeah, well here there’s a reality show and it really just serves as a vessel through which they will attempt to get a “modern” audience to relate. In the end it just allows these ridiculous caricatures to be even more dense than they otherwise would’ve been through their pathetically contrived audition tapes with their deep thoughts on Michael Myers.

The sequence in which this farcical show is being taped manages to be just as if not more slow moving than the crater-sized lull in Part 5 but what makes it harder to bare is that there is literally not a person you want to make it through this thing alive.

The acting overall is just plain pathetic and as if it’s not bad enough the capper to the series is left to Busta Rhymes who cannot convincingly deliver a line unless the more complete and vulgar variant of mofo is included. Lucky for him he says mofo a lot. His conclusion is Michael is a mofo. He is a smart man and this is a dumb, dumb movie, which isn’t worth the film stock it was shot on.

1/10

Review- Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer

Garrett Ryan and Jordana Beatty in Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (Relativity Media)

The first thing I have to say and I mean this in all honesty is that this film is nowhere near as bad as I feared it would be, however, it’s still not very good at all sadly. It’s not the worst film in the history of the medium and not even of the year, however, a lot of its issues were so correctable it makes it quite a frustrating venture.

Secondly, I feel I should state that my dislike for this film does not stem, as it seems to for some, from the mere fact that it’s a children’s film. I have frequently had films from the genre in my year-end best films list and some have had staying power like Max Keeble’s Big Move. So I can accept a film with a younger target audience if done properly. This isn’t.

The characterization across the board is rather thin. It’s acceptable, in my mind, to have parents be something of a caricature in a children’s film so long as they at certain points reflect actual parents. In their limited screen time Judy’s parents get a rare chuckle but have the aloofness of glue sniffers about them and more parenting, though not quite enough, is done by “crazy” Aunt Opal.

Then there’s Judy, of course, with the not-so-subtle surname of Moody. She is beyond moody, however, and rather a pain in the posterior.

The universe of this film is a very strange one wherein Judy, while not the “popular girl” does have her own cabal of friends yet she has her own distinct vocabulary that no one really adopts despite the fact that she’s clearly the alpha of the group. She leads a club and the only thing we really see her impress on her friends is the concept of a thrill points race to try and make summer “less boring.”

After one attempt to earn thrill points you quickly see what the resolution of the film will be and what she needs more than anything is an attitude adjustment. However, this uptightness is not called out for far too long and when one of her friends does call her out she doesn’t come to realize the error of her ways herself or get the nudge from her loci parentis. Instead the epiphany comes in a photo montage accompanied by lazy voice over.

Granted some of her feelings of inadequacy are exacerbated by the fact that two of her best friends are far off having a thrill a minute but still the singularity of her focus gets a bit annoying without more challenges to her perception.

However, the singularity is preferable to shoehorned subplots. The Bigfoot subplot works and gives Stink, her brother, his own obsession and plays into her modus operandi just fine. The one that doesn’t is that of the teacher, Mr. Todd (Jaleel White, yes, from Family Matters, who is difficult to accept in any other role). The issue with this subplot is how it is thrown in the mix. It starts with an awkward last day of school scene where his summer plans are made mysterious and hints are dropped through an even more awkward and ill-fitting sing-along. It also dovetails very annoyingly at the climax, so annoyingly that I could go on about that alone for quite some time.

There is an excessive use of animated graphics and titles in the film but while some actually work few do and none are as awkward as the sing-along.

My feelings about the parents as characters is lower than my opinion of their performance. Heather Graham does a lot to keep this film from wallowing into oblivion. Paradoxically by being a comedic oddball character she keeps it grounded and fun as much as she can. Judy’s brother (Parris Mosteller) and friends (Preston Bailey, Garrett Ryan and Taylar Hender) all contribute greatly and do quite well in their parts especially Bailey, whose fight with Judy is the best scene such that it’s almost as if it was taken from another film.

The most impressive thing Jordana Beatty does is lose her Australian accent. Her task is a difficult one in as much as she has to be annoying yet sympathetic and that doesn’t come across. I will grant that she was handcuffed by the script in some regards but the end result is insufficient.

This film is based on a series of books and considering that there’s much material to pull from I wouldn’t rule out Judy’s big screen return, pending its box office, I also wouldn’t write the films off. Yes, this film failed and miserably so but the parts of there in terms of concept and most of the cast but the vehicle was wrong. The actors given a different script may yield different results.

3/10