Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.
Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.
Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.
It’s nearly impossible to drop the ball as badly as this installment of the series does. This is the one that almost justifies starting all over from scratch. Which would be fine but the fact of the matter is no one sets out to make something terrible just so they can start over. There are no ‘rebuilding films’ you think “Oh, this’ll work.” Then when you fall flat on your face you start trying to figure out how you’re going to fix it.
What makes it so terrible is the set up is there. This film pulls off the best cross-film trick of the series. Laurie’s triumph is rendered her tragedy and in a much more convincing way than occurs in the new series Laurie ends up institutionalized.
However, in a much worse way than Part 6. This film botches a farewell. Laurie Strode is this franchise every bit as much as Michael and Dr. Loomis are. You don’t send her out the way they do such that it was a near accident. That is no blaze of glory which after four films is what she deserved.
So here you are left with an Austin Powers in Goldmember kind of set-up (“Austin caught me in the first act, what’s with that?”). Who are we to root for and who does Michael want to kill now because at this point he’s gotten everyone, except Laurie’s son but no he doesn’t go after him, this would be the rare case where I’d be for recasting, he goes after random people.
Granted these are random people who are all in his house in Haddonfield but random nonetheless. In other words these people are all expendable I could care less whether they live or die, in fact, the quicker Michael kills them the happier with this pile of slop I’ll be.
But it gets worse and here’s how: remember how there was actual social commentary thru the guise of a mid-90s shock jock in Part 6. Yeah, well here there’s a reality show and it really just serves as a vessel through which they will attempt to get a “modern” audience to relate. In the end it just allows these ridiculous caricatures to be even more dense than they otherwise would’ve been through their pathetically contrived audition tapes with their deep thoughts on Michael Myers.
The sequence in which this farcical show is being taped manages to be just as if not more slow moving than the crater-sized lull in Part 5 but what makes it harder to bare is that there is literally not a person you want to make it through this thing alive.
The acting overall is just plain pathetic and as if it’s not bad enough the capper to the series is left to Busta Rhymes who cannot convincingly deliver a line unless the more complete and vulgar variant of mofo is included. Lucky for him he says mofo a lot. His conclusion is Michael is a mofo. He is a smart man and this is a dumb, dumb movie, which isn’t worth the film stock it was shot on.