Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

The Video Dead

Pretty much the best thing that can be said about The Video Dead is that at no point was I compelled to turn it off. Other than that there really is no redeeming quality here. It is a case of auteur theory gone awry as the director was the only writer and other producer and someone should’ve checked him on a few things.

It pretty much starts right away with a reclusive and supposedly renowned author getting a TV delivered to his house. However, he did not order it. Why then is it accepted? Then zombies are seen roaming about on it even though he turns it off and it turns back on again, even after it’s unplugged and he makes no attempt to get rid of it. So right there in the teaser you have two story issues already.

However, there is the issue of every single performance in this film. To put it bluntly if they were trying to be terrible they did a tremendous job but I give none of the actors invovled in this travesty that kind of credit as I don’t think it’s possible to be this bad if you’re trying. The older sister (Roxanna Augesen) always sounds sarcastic and the brother (Rocky Duvall), who is about 18 sounds like he’s trying to play twelve whether he means to or not.

I can’t place all the blame on the actors though only some because the dialogue is truly atrocious. From being blatant about the mixup in the delivery to getting TMI about the first kill’s poodle’s mating habits to someone who is majoring both in aerobics and music videos it’s one car wreck after another.

Even the cinematography is not immune from odd decisions and bad angles.

It’s comedically bad at times but more often than not it’s just a painful experience to watch this thing. One character introduces himself like so “I’m the Garbage Man. I dispose of human garbage.” Which is fascinating but who disposes of cinematic garbage because I’ve got a heap sitting here that I can’t get out of my mind.

1/10