The Movie Rat

The Pop of Ted

Posted on August 23, 2012 by bernardovillela

Anyone who watches Family Guy, or really any show Seth MacFarlane is involved with, knows that he and the writers have a passion not only for non-sequitor flashbacks and cutaways, but also pop culture references both ubiquitous and obscure. It’s one of the things you either love or hate about his style. I, for one, love it.

While there’s much to dislike about the now (in)famous cultural vegetables article in the New York Times, one very salient point that was made in it was in discussing Phineas and Ferb and how the writer’s niece would laugh at jokes she couldn’t understand because she had an inherent understanding of the comedic rhythm employed. I can relate to that because I used to do that. I’d laugh because something sounded funny or silly, then later when I’d learned what the reference meant or where it was drawn from that made it better.

Another thing that can be seen as useful about material so drenched in pop culture references is that it does bring things back to the fore. Every so often a movie, song or TV show will resurge in popularity. At times, it’s rather random, at others there is a catalyst-reference in another film.

Having seen a few Flash Gordon serials I was always curious to see the feature film version, but I never had until just after seeing Ted.

I was also one who either sought out older shows and music, but also had a lot of things introduced to me by my parents. If some kids are disinclined to be culturally indoctrinated in any way, shape or form a film like this; if parents approve of course, could create talking points. I know I already explained to a younger friend the significance and the funniness of the Teddy Ruxpin joke.

The more instantaneous, in many ways, the world gets the more important it can be to recall certain touchstones of the past regardless of what the subject. Whether it be something meaningful like the significance of the Berlin Wall coming down or who’s Tom Skerrit.

Time is a continuum not a vacuum, creating art in a vacuum can be a precarious, needless to say many artists do watch, read and listen to other artists in bygone eras, and whether consciously or unconsciously that exposure influences what is created now. However, literal referencing of said artistic influence, no matter how great or small, underlines a specific figure or work in the past that someone can glean something from.

Therein lies the significance of noting it. Rather than tirelessly discuss each reference I caught, I’ll list them below. A few of them added thanks to that same friend who saw it quite a few times more than me.

Pop Culture References in Ted:

Hasbro
Family Guy cast members
Bridget Jones’s Diary
Norah Jones
ALF
Johnny Carson
Belinda Carlisle video
The Notebook
Star Wars
Tintin (Destination Moon)
Saturday Night Fever flashback
Garfield
Tom Skerrit
Ryan Reynolds
E.T.
Jesus?
Peter Griffin (References as character in dialogue)
“This is art.”
Lance Armstrong’s
Veiled North by Northwest chase
Fenway Park
Scrabble
Spongebob Squarepants
Taylor Lautner

Music

Ted Is Captured / Raiders Of The Lost Ark
Flash’s Theme – Queen
Only Wanna Be With You – Hootie And The Blowfish
Come Away With Me – Norah Jones
All Time High (From The Motion Picture Octopussy) – Rita Coolidge
I Think We’re Alone Now – Tiffany

The Spirit of Little League

Posted on August 21, 2012 by bernardovillela

ESPN’s series of documentaries 30 for 30 tackled the 30 biggest stories in sports since ESPN’s launch in 1979, and many acclaimed filmmakers took the helm. The ESPN Films brand have since spun off to further sports docs. While I have not been able to catch all of them I have seen many and the series of films has been even more fascinating and riveting than many anticipated (Note: many of these films now stream on Netflix).

Little Big Men,the tale of the Kirkland, Washington team that captured the 1982 Little League World Series title, originally aired, interestingly enough, after this 2011 tournament’s completion; which made sense since most of the film dealt with their lives after the championship was claimed, and how the sociopolitical climate was ripe for these kids to be put on a pedestal, which made them heroes and symbols to be looked up to, and then taken down.

As is typically the case, there are mixed emotions in this film. All the players loved the experience and were still glad to have won in spite of the unforeseeable hoopla that followed them.

They also drove home the point that they played, trained and strove for the title because they wanted it and no one forced it upon them, which in this day and age is a legitimate concern.
The Little League World Series is a great event, having been there several times, it seems that all the players take it as a great experience regardless of outcome. However, the sentiments of the Washington players do bear repeating as the notion of enjoyment of the game being paramount is one that needs to be cultivated and should not be taken for granted. Just as players and parents need to learn and practice sportsmanship, so are constant reminders needed about the joys of baseball.

Here are a list of some films that vary in their quality, but all remind us why the game is great and will bide the time between now and next year’s Little League World Series:

The Perfect Game

The true story of the 1957 Monterrey team that won it all.

The Bad News Bears Go to Japan

Both versions of the tale need acknowledging, so I figured I’d highlight the end of the trilogy.

The Bad News Bears (2005)

It’s one of those remakes that make you scratch your head…until you see it. My apologies again, Billy Bob.

  Amazing Grace and Chuck

It’s only about baseball, and sports in a roundabout way, it’s really about nuclear disarmament and a movement; but it starts and ends on the diamond with one Little Leaguer and is one of the best examples of the power of sport.

Mickey

This is a film that was delayed and limited in many ways. Little League even assisted in the production, but I believe it began filming in an age when age fraud was largely fiction. Then the Almonte scandal broke. The film means well but is really a bad and misguided cautionary tale that does bad mentioning.

Small Ball: A Little League Story

This is a PBS documentary about a team from Aptos, CA that made the 2002 World Series that is a very balanced look at the process.

Rewind Review- Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Posted on August 20, 2012 by bernardovillela

As those who know me, and if such a person exists, cyberstalk me, know I created this blog after writing on another site, which shall remain nameless, for a while. The point is, I have material sitting around waiting to be re-used on occasion I will re-post them here. Some of those articles or reviews may have been extemporaneous at the time, but are slightly random now, hence the new title and little intro, regardless enjoy!

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant is in large part a victim of a poorly thought out unoriginal marketing scheme as much as Paranormal Activity is the product of brilliant marketing. Having said that we will discuss that later and deal first with the film at hand.

The Vampire’s Assistant is by no means a perfect film, however, I did enjoy it quite a bit and it did leave me wanting more if perhaps a bit too much. The major flaws are the quickly drawn and superficially defined characters. We get enough on each to start such that the story is able to function and begin, yet the information disseminated is given to us clumsily and easily through dialogue. We instantly find out that Darren (Chris Massoglia) is a good kid and Steve (Josh Hutcherson) is a tough guy with a chip on his shoulder and all the reasons therefor.

The things conveyed through voice-over, like their individual obsessions, would have been much better conveyed with more visual information. An example, Steve’s dad left and his mom is an alcoholic so he feels he has nothing to live for when a crucial decision comes about. We learn all this through his dialogue, and have seen neither hide nor hair of his father or mother throughout. Even a flashback quick would’ve enhanced that emotion a bit which was very effectively conveyed by Hutcherson. Both young leads, in fact, elevated the story through their convincing portrayals of their sketched characters. Again each has an obsession that sets them on their path that sets them down their course but we learn this mostly through voice over.

The last issue was that of the character of Mr. Tiny. He’s an enigmatic villain and an interesting one, and his words and the opening title sequence make it clear he is only interested in being a puppet master in the battle between two rival factions of vampires. However, why he is only interested in that, what his timetable is, what his real motivation is, and why he chose Darren and Steve is nebulous at best. There is a mention of a prophecy but it is ill-defined.

Now having said all that the film does have quite a bit going for it, and knowing that Universal was hoping to launch a franchise does explain some of the lack of detail. The first part is that it does not take itself too seriously. There is a quite a bit of good humor had with the vampire genre as it turns some of the vampire clichés on their ear.

Aside from supporting turns by John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek, Ken Watanabe and more the film does have an essential conflict at its core that is quite interesting. You have in this story two best friends who become enemies and a rivalry that could’ve been avoided. You also have hilarious cartoonish portrayals of the adult characters at the beginning, which are deftly altered by Weitz when they re-emerge later on and the tone of the tale has changed. The parents reappearing looking concerned and real the teacher seeming confused and frightened, both merely shells of their formerly goofy selves.

The effects were quite good, which is more than can be said for most films, and this one based on reports didn’t cost an arm and a leg. The cinematography was composed and contained even in heavy action sequences which also can’t be said of a lot of films.

To return to the marketing, this is a film that was pushed into October and then had its title altered to include The Vampire’s Assistant, which is the title of the second book in the series. The use of the word vampire a calculated attempt to try and capitalize on Twilight‘s popularity. These are mistakes because this movie is nothing like, and never tries to be, Twilight. The target audience is different, the conflict at the center of it is completely different, and none of these ploys yielded box office results with the film finishing 8th with just $6.35M in gross. This is a shame because all these questions that came to mind wouldn’t have held any water had it not been interesting, and so now it seems they will be unanswered in celluloid and left only within the pages of Darren Shan’s novels.

6/10

Commentary: Chris Massoglia – Sandlot to Silver Screen

Posted on August 19, 2012 by bernardovillela

It is not unusual for an athlete to either be an actor, or to become one at some point in their career. In this age of social media, and of the multi-taskers and multi-talented, it is not unusual at all. One hardly needs to list former athletes turned actors, for those who watch films frequently will likely know of at least one. However, one hardly hears of an athlete turned actor with a tale such as that of Chris Massoglia.

In the summer of 2004, Chris and the Robbinsdale Little League of Robbinsdale, MN, were one game away from a trip to Williamsport, PA and the Little League World Series. Playing the Regional final meant an appearance on ESPN for all the players. By that time Chris Massoglia had already appeared on TV. He was on an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent the year before and had just recently appeared in two episodes of Criminal Investigation, using the stage name Chris Kelly.

The commentators talked about Chris and his acting pursuits because on the ESPN questionnaire all the players get, so that the broadcast team can get a sense of who they are, Chris listed his nickname as “Hollywood.” He was dubbed so by his teammates due to his acting pursuits and now it seems that the moniker is quite prophetic and not the simplistic ribbing initially intended.
After a few more TV stints he appeared in the independent film A Plumm Summer, which can be viewed in its entirety on YouTube. However, his big break is still ahead with two upcoming lead roles. Now going by his given name, Massoglia has landed two huge roles.

First, he played Darren Shan in The Vampire’s Assistant. The film, was an anticipated potential franchise, featured a star-studded cast.

Chris also co-starred in Joe Dante’s Venice Film Festival Award-Winner The Hole.

One if not both of these films should be the launching pad for Massoglia’s stardom, and have him become one of the more unconventional athlete-turned actor-tales we’ve seen.

Short Film Saturday- Bateyes

Posted on August 18, 2012 by bernardovillela

Here’s a film that very quickly proves that shorts can have layers to them and also have pretty interesting structures. There’s flashback in here but it’s not in your face about it, there’s a precise trigger but that comes later and there’s a bit of psychology at play too as the subject of this piece is re-examining his life because of a rather mundane, yet significant moment he’s going through.

I also enjoy that this short was created based on a monologue and produced by a theatre program for young people. All in all it serves everyone who comes in contact with it, artists and viewers alike.

Rewind Review- The Perfect Game (2009)

Posted on August 17, 2012 by bernardovillela

The first thing that likely needs saying about a film like The Perfect Game is that it’s the kind of film that you absolutely want to like but the execution of this tale made it difficult if not impossible. There are myriad reasons you want to like it: the based-on-a-true-story aspect, the fact that it covers a simple sport in a simpler time, the fact that this film (like many about the Little League game) wallowed in undistributed obscurity and the fact that the success of certain cast members after the fact and the power of social networking helped it to be released, at least in part. However, all of that is peripheral to the film and can’t really factor in, which is unfortunate because it is a great story.

One of the major stumbling blocks this film faces is a problem of accents and language. The film is a tale of the ragtag team from Monterrey, Mexico that was the first to capture the Little League World Series crown. It would’ve been best if the film had been shot in Spanish, instead we get stereotypical accents which waver despite the arduous efforts of some cast members and the young core of the film is quite talented and likely able to handle it. To compound this problem the one kid they did have deliver an entire line in Spanish couldn’t deliver it so it was poorly-dubbed. Which brings to mind the other issue in films where accented English substitutes for a foreign language and that’s the quandary of when to venture into that foreign tongue. It’s usually best to never do so for a whole line especially if the actor being asked to deliver it can’t speak fluently.

There was, however, also inconsistency in the the casting of some pivotal roles. The first being Clifton Collins, Jr. as Cesar. Not only does his accent waver, as should be considered a given of almost anyone in the cast, but his delivery is frequently off. The prime example of this is when first addressing the media in Williamsport, PA he is concerned about the start time of their first game because that’s when the players have their siesta. Not only have we not seen a siesta in the film but the delivery is so poor you think he’s joking and poking fun at stereotypes about Mexicans. When immediately in the next scene you find out it’s true and is a legitimate complaint. Similarly when he’s being the tough coach you rarely get a glimpse of why the kids would like him regardless; it’s not a layered enough performance.

The second casting issue is more one of perception but in film in many cases perception is reality. Probably the most important person to this team is the town priest who travels with them most of the way to the series. This character is played by Cheech Marin. There’s nothing greatly wrong with Marin’s performance, as there is with many of the smaller supporting players who are unknowns, but he’s just not credible in this part as some other lesser known actor might’ve been. Lastly, there is Frances Fisher as Betty a beat reporter who is following the team, at first reluctantly and then willingly, who cannot decide what decade she was from or where she is from and ends up being a character without time or place.

The young cast aside from the accent issues, which was an affectation placed upon them, do deserve special mention and accolades for bringing forth most of the positive moments in this film. Namely they are: Jake T. Austin, who plays Angel Macías, the star pitcher of the team, who features in the film’s greatest moment when their coach reminds him that he’s Sandy Koufax (as the team was inspired to greatness by comparing themselves to the Brooklyn Dodgers) and he says “No, I’m Angel Macías,” which is followed by a triple-cut on his delivery of his last pitch which was awesome. Ryan Ochoa, the team’s wise-cracking catcher, Norberto, who in the narrative makes one of the great plays in the championship in what is one of the film’s special moments. Moises Arias, who is best known as Rico on the Disney Channel’s Hannah Montana, should tap into this kind of character more, he’s a bit a pest but well-intentioned and not completely obnoxious. Lastly, there is Jansen Panetierre, who plays the amicable Enrique, who is one of the two star pitchers on the team who absolutely owns his moment when he was told he’d be starting the semi-final game when he thought he’d be passed over for Angel.

What is perhaps most maddening about this film is that it botched the simple and cliché and excelled in what was unique. What makes that even more frustrating is that a lot of what is cliché could’ve been removed from the film and and not hurt it any since it runs about two hours. There is much of the time where you feel like you could be watching The Mighty Ducks or any other sports or Disney project. There’s all the standard scenes which detract from the different tale this film is trying to tell. Which is not to detract from the aforementioned projects or company since this film didn’t handle the scenes nearly as well.

The first act of the film drags painfully and the pace never recovers. The film insists on setting things up slowly even though nothing terribly complicated or suspenseful is happening. For example, Cesar meets his love interest, Maria, for the first time and you know there will be flirtation and what this scene leads to is establishing a turbulent relationship but the pace of dialogue combined with the Bill Conti score, which in this project is always cheesy, make the scene seem interminable.

The film starts, like many do, with the “based on a true story” title card and that should be enough but it throws in archival footage as well and black & white traveling shots. This is rarely, if ever, effective and only really makes a difference at the end when you see real photos of scenes we saw re-enacted.

The bad start that this movie gets off to is almost overcome with wrinkles unique to this tale: the kids having never played on grass, the meeting with Cool Papa Bell, the trip through the segregated South, the relationship of Cesar and Maria, the preoccupation with the games that takes over Monterrey and the games themselves.

While I am sure there are likely a few liberties with history taken I won’t get too bogged down in the minutiae there, but rest assured if you survive the first act you will sit through the movie because it does indeed get better. Where it does suffer again later on is in a typically poor handling of sports on film. Yes, the story is about the characters, their relationship, their camaraderie and coming together for a common purpose but in a sports film you will inevitably have game scenes and we the audience need to know the stakes of each game and that wasn’t always the case. Similarly, as per usual, you got “Film Baseball,” which can apply to any sport and most movies, where editing made it easy to accomplish the desired result of a play. For once I’d just like to see a camera set up behind a pitcher, or the catcher, and see the whole play from windup to contact with no cuts.

If you are heading out to the movies as a fan of Little League Baseball, as I am, and want to see depicted on screen all that is good about the game, both past and present, you likely will not be disappointed. If you head out to see The Perfect Game as a fan of film you will likely be disappointed and will witnessed something far less than perfect.

4/10

Bad Movies I Love (Part Four of Four)

Posted on August 16, 2012 by bernardovillela

This is yet another post that has been inspired by Bob Freelander and his wonderful blog Rupert Pupkin Speaks. Check it out, if you haven’t already.

I’ve ruminated on this list long enough I believe. In the spirit of my recent post about lists not really being finished, I’ll just go with what I have at my disposal currently and spitball it. For the mutual convenience of myself and whomever may read this, I will split the list into four posts.

Now, I did, as most who have compiled this list recently, have to examine what makes a movie both bad and one I can enjoy because of that. There were a few different directions I could’ve gone with this list. I could’ve picked some films universally considered to be bad that I like and I don’t care who knows it (Many of those can be found here). I could’ve picked the rare film that’s so bad that it’s good, which in my mind are few and far between, but I do have a few that come to mind, and I also won’t argue if you believe there’s no such thing.

What I decided to do instead was to pick movies that I find to be bad, however, that I still enjoy certain things about them (badness included), and in many cases I have given them more than one viewing due to their uniquely awesome badness.

Now, without much further ado, my continued elections:

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

For almost any of these selections, as for the most part it was just racking my brain seeking ideas, the story of how I saw it plays role. This was actually a film I only found out about recently, then as I learned things about it; such as the fact that Patton Oswalt included it in comedy bit of his and encouraged audience members to look it up to prove that it exists, I knew I had to see it.

I wanted to know as little as possible going in, aside from what the very blatant title already gave away. In my mind the killings this bed would make was something akin to a mechanized hospital bed gone amuck. Oh, how hysterically wrong I was. How you come up with the idea to imagine the gastrointestinal workings of a mattress I’ll never know.

Also, while the film is very low-rent using such techniques as jump cuts to indicate things “moving” on their own or positioning the camera low and using the bedding as an obstruction, it has a lot of story too it. Too much, and most of it conveyed by voice over. Also, while some scenes have trouble being lit, in others the camera swoops about like a half-drunken attempt to emulate Last Year at Marienbad.

However, it’s really the ancillary gaffes that make that affectation bothersome. The subject matter is treated seriously enough, but certain basics are just so lacking you either have to laugh at it or risk madness. Had the chronology been different, the tale been made more visual, and the idea put into the hands of another director; would it have been better? I can’t say for sure, but I can say that people would likely laugh with it more frequently than at it.

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

I recently made the observation that the saga of my friend attempting to find The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, a film he dearly loved, was likely part of what sparked my loathing for the fact that things can and do go out of print.

I don’t like the film on his level, but after having seen it a few times and acquiring it myself, it’s the kind of film I’m a little surprised gets mentioned at times amongst the worst films ever made. Firstly, one should clearly never see this film accidentally. The Garbage Pail Kids are gross. Anyone who has seen the trading cards will know that and so to translate those drawings to the big screen in a live action film, you’re going to have to make a gross movie. The reason it ends up here as opposed to a list of films I really do like is its half-bakedness mostly.

Yes, on the surface basing an entire movie on a comedy skit, a board game, trading cards or any other silly product is ludicrous, but all it really is, is a call to action. In many of those cases, you have to do a bit more to flesh out those vague concepts, grasp the essence of what said thing is and dramatize it. An example, would be either Battleship, wherein the cinematic emulation of the game was the best part, or better yet, the forthcoming Candyland. Candyland, could and should be, a visually striking and compelling, dark film aimed at kids. The kind of stuff that used to fall into your lap as a kid in the ’80s. Instead, it’s being developed as an Adam Sandler project. With Garbage Pail Kids, there’s also a sort of misfire I feel, which is why I can’t genuinely like it.

Mac and Me (1988)

As much as I tried to avoid films I’d seen on lists multiple times, by the time I decided my list would be 20 films long, I knew there’d be some films where I’d need to give my own take on. I would also be hard-pressed to make a Bad Movies I Love list that didn’t feature one movie that borrowed liberally from a film I genuinely do love, E.T. Aside from the similarity in plot, there’s also the fact that MAC is an acronym, which quite a few other ’80s films/shows employed (like D.A.R.Y.L. and ALF to name two). The puppetry in Mac and Me is not good. The acting isn’t helped out in the direction, editing or production value. As many have noted, the product placement is rampant (I’m fine with products appearing, but when it starts emulating that Wayne’s World gag it starts to become an issue). However, the movie is odd, hard to predict and does feature a protagonist whose a bit more of an underdog and outcast than the better film similar to it does.

The Quest (1986)

While we’re on the subject of E.T. that brings me to my next choice The Quest, which is a film that starred Henry Thomas a few years after that role, such that the film is even cited on the poster. It has a good set-up, which is a boy loses his parents and his guardians live in Australia. So most of the audience can identify with feeling like an outsider in a new place. He then observes some unusual happenings at Devil’s Knob National Park, which have something to do with the aboriginal myth of Frog Dreamings (which is part of the Australian title).

It’s the mechanics of the film that let it down: the pacing, editing, some casting and writing decisions. The idea is interesting, the aboriginal angle has me and I’ve used the term Frog Dreamings on occasion, and it does get pretty odd (it was the ’80s it had to, didn’t it?).

Pepito y la Lampara Maravillosa (1972)

Here’s one I caught at first on TV while in Mexico, both through the visuals and my limited understanding of Spanish I was able to follow along, and what I found I was watching was so weird it refused to be ignored. The more I learned about this unlikely comedic duo the more intriguing it became. The adult in the picture is Chabelo, while seemingly always employing the same comedic facade (as this is part of a series of at least three films) in this film he is a genie. In some ways, this reminded me a bit of the comedic troop Os Trapalhões from Brazil whose style is broad and geared towards youth but there is a certain oddity to this one, not that dissimilar from what the Bee Guy on The Simpsons lampoons, that makes it uniquely Mexican. The tandem being an adult and a youth performer also makes it unique, and there’s plenty of weirdness abound in the plot, even more so in another film from the series called Pepito y Chabelo Detectives, where Chabelo plays a kid and they uncover a very strange plot.

I’ll spoil no surprises, but will say that this film indicates another criteria was that after finding this film on DVD I have told some friends about this movie and how off-the-wall it is.

Bad Movies I Love (Part Three of Four)

Posted on August 15, 2012 by bernardovillela

This is yet another post that has been inspired by Bob Freelander and his wonderful blog Rupert Pupkin Speaks. Check it out, if you haven’t already.

Now, without much further ado, my continued elections:

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (1983)

Here is the third and final appearance of a film with some connection to Mystery Science Theater 3000, it in essence highlights one of the better more overlooked aspects of that show; there are many of these movies that people would not be aware of were it not for its being lampooned there. Another odd note is that this TV film has, for reasons I don’t yet understand, been stuck from the IMDb.

As for the film itself, the story is quite out there. It concerns a futuristic dystopia wherein arts are prohibited. There are many other weird facets to the story that, if you would like to know them, can be found on the film’s Wikipedia. However, beware, as is often the case, it is rife with spoilers. Perhaps if the film the protagonist was obsessed with, and that this one cribs from, were not Casablanca my take on the film would be somewhat different, as Casablanca is too often referenced, lampooned and cribbed from. It’s also a very high-concept idea with a seemingly rather low budget. Something else I learned about this film was that is was shot on VHS, which I was not aware of, so that is a mark of distinction as older formats are having a renaissance, most notably as featured in Super 8 and the upcoming V/H/S.

The Beastmaster (1982)

“Born with the courage of an eagle, the strength of a black tiger, and the power of a god.” With a tagline like that you know what you’re getting from The Beastmaster, do you not? Essentially, it combines sword-and-sorcery precepts with a dash of Tarzan and there you have it. Plus, it’s another one wherein if you read any synopses you can see how it would end up on a list such as this one. One thing that has occurred to me is that aesthetically this is rather more like what Masters of the Universe would have been had they not employed the-fish-out-of-water element in their telling.

The Redeemer: Son of Satan! (1978)

I love distributors like Code Red, who not only specialize in rare, hard-to-find titles but are also fairly honest about them. I recall the box to this one mentioned something about the opacity of its plot, and boy is it ever opaque! Another way a film can end up on this list is if I thought it could use a remake, and this one could, if anyone wanted to tackle it. There are elements in place that work, and some that come into play that serve to obfuscate what could be a really effective film. It feels longer than it is; it’s confounding at times; gets slow but it never really loses me, which is pretty hard for any bad film to accomplish. An interesting editing experiment comes to mind as I think on it, edit it down into an effective short. In it’s current state it either needs a bit of expansion or contraction to work as a proper good film.

The Nutcracker in 3D (2009)

All credit for this selection making the list goes to Emily Intravia who wrote a guest post on Bob Freelander’s blog that jogged my memory. What really makes this film stand out is that any of the decisions taken in isolation wouldn’t be completely insane, but they all occur in the same film: Involving a thinly veiled Einstein; casting Nathan Lane to play him; making it a musical; having the Rat King and his minions symbolic of Nazis. However, I must say that it is a prime example of the fact that a film does not represent a crystalized version that has to adhere to everyone’s vision of a tale, which is something I’ve written of before. A film adaptation of a tale represents a version of a narrative, the director’s, writer’s and the production. This is why there have been so many adaptations of some of the most popular works in literature, film and cover songs in music and so on.

I have seen myriad versions of the Nutcracker. In fact, in the world of dance interpretations of narrative and choreography differ. As a director, I truly do appreciate Konchalovsky’s uncompromising vision, and some of the elements do work. I saw it upon its initial release and in 3D and that was a good element. The music, as I recall, the instrumentals that is, are pretty good whether Tchaikovsky’s or otherwise. Charlie Rowe, who would later appear in a very different and good interpretation of the Peter Pan myth in, Neverland is also good. As is Elle Fanning, who truly broke out with two amazing performances last year.

It also underscores another common element in the films I tend to choose for this list is that there’s something so unique, an intent so honest that I could never fully disparage the film without some qualifier. It’s one I haven’t revisited yet, but definitely will.

Sidekicks (1992)

The Chuck Norris joke as a cultural phenomenon is rather dead in the water, aside from the rare soul who hears one for the first time and then builds a newfound obsession with them for a time. I’m not sure anyone ever traced the exact source of that phenomenon, and if that would serve any real purpose, but this film may have something to do with it. The reason is, of course, that in this film Chuck Norris plays himself and the idol of a downtrodden kid. At this point Norris had already been in enough bad movies where he improbably beat the crap out of everyone that it made sense and this just adds to his odd mystique, and, of course, up until The Expendables sequel was announced he was the most one of the most notable action star who wasn’t in the club.

Come back tomorrow for the conclusion!

Bad Movies I Love (Part Two of Four)

Posted on August 14, 2012 by bernardovillela

This is yet another post that has been inspired by Bob Freelander and his wonderful blog Rupert Pupkin Speaks. Check it out, if you haven’t already.

I’ve ruminated on this list long enough I believe. In the spirit of my recent post about lists not really being finished, I’ll just go with what I have at my disposal currently and spitball it. For the mutual convenience of myself and whomever may read this, I will split the list into four posts.

Now, I did, as most who have compiled this list recently, have to examine what makes a movie both bad and one I can enjoy because of that. There were a few different directions I could’ve gone with this list. I could’ve picked some films universally considered to be bad that I like and I don’t care who knows it (A few of those can be found here). I could’ve picked the rare film that’s so bad that it’s good, which in my mind are few and far between, and I won’t argue if you believe there’s no such thing.

What I decided to do instead was to pick movies that I find to be bad, however, that I still enjoy certain things about them (badness included), and in many cases I have given them more than one viewing due to their uniquely awesome awfulness.

Now, without much further ado, my selections:

Demons 2 (1986)

In one a screenwriting course I took, one exercise we did was to read our short scripts aloud, this was done so we could simultaneously share knowledge and offer each other constructive comments. A script I wrote reminded a classmate of mine of Demons. At the time I had not seen Demons, so the only responsible action I could take was to see it ASAP. I loved it. My short and it shared similarities, but were also different enough.

Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I just had to see Demons 2. The film is directed by Lamberto Bava, co-written by Dario Argento, features one of the first screen appearances by Asia Argento and more of the freaky demons. What ends up not working is the film shifts away from the movie theater setting. However, being an Italian horror film, it will be stylish, bloody and at times bizarre and at others nonsensical, which makes it engaging, if not quality.

The Church (1989)

One not-so-good but watchable Italian horror film deserves another. This film has a lot of the same pedigree that Demons 2 has and a lot of the same issues: Argento has a writing credit, Asia makes an appearance, one of its alternate titles is Demons 3, it has a really good idea that doesn’t quite click and I really want it to. I’ve seen this one a few times, I’ve even listened to the score in isolation and I like that. There’s a draw to it that’s brought me back a few times, perhaps with this one more so than the prior choice, it really is the unfulfilled promise that’s been the reason.

Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveller (1988)

There will be another film that makes this list based in part on the audaciousness of its conception. However, I do have to admit that this one handles the execution of its outlandish concept better than the one to come.

As the title implies, in the world of this film you can literally travel by stamp. Now, as a concept that’s something you’re going to either buy or you won’t. The film has its heart in the right place through a lot of it (Such that I almost feel bad including it), it’s just really misguided much of the time, and the caper of bringing back someone lost via ‘stamp travel’ takes a bit away from it I feel. The acting’s not great, nor is the writing, but there is a boldness to the concept.

Also, as a bit of trivia, the film also features a cameo by a young Rufus Wainwright who sings a very catchy song, which is one of the redeeming qualities of the film, another one which becomes obvious as you watch the clip is how incredibly ’80s this film is.

Uncle Sam (1996)

Perhaps one of the best ways to determine a bad movie you love is to gauge just how mixed your feelings on the film are. There are films written by Larry Cohen such as It’s Alive, The Stuff, Q: The Winged Serpent that I would say I love. This one I can’t really defend as staunchly but there are things about it that I do appreciate. Namely, it incorporates militaristic zeal in a horror film in a way I’ve rarely seen. Not only that but note the release date, there was no unpopular or costly (in terms of American casualties) war going on at that time, so there’s a certain gutsiness in telling this kind of tale when dissenting opinions are fairly quiet. The film does end up being sloppy and a bit slow, there’s no Michael Moriarty in it to up the caliber of the cast, but the satire is definitely there which makes it worth mentioning.

The Space Children (1958)

This is a case of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse. Here’s one I saw first and then found an MST3K for, which I don’t do often. I was on kind of on the fence after I saw it and while I can’t ultimately say it’s a quality piece of work, as logic and reason vanish somewhere in the middle of act two, there are things about it I do like. As for the MST3K treatment it’s funny, not one of their best and this is nowhere near one of the legendary duds they’ve covered; in many of the films they watch it’s hard to even ferret out what the plot is supposed to be. Here there are issues but the plot is clear. The tropes of a hivemind amongst children, and some form of other-worldy radiation or possession, are not new but they’re also not the biggest problem. The film is actually consistently interesting, it just emotionally flatlines after a while, which is a cardinal sin, especially when any atomic age sci-fi tale is likely to hook me based on its implications. Michel Ray’s turn as the ringleader is also quite effective.

Part three will be up tomorrow!

Bad Movies I Love (Part One of Four)

Posted on August 13, 2012 by bernardovillela

This is yet another post that has been inspired by Bob Freelander and his wonderful blog Rupert Pupkin Speaks. Check it out, if you haven’t already.

I’ve ruminated on this list long enough I believe. In the spirit of my recent post about lists not really being finished, I’ll just go with what I have at my disposal currently and spitball it. For the mutual convenience of myself and whomever may read this, I will split the list into four posts.

Now, I did, as most who have compiled this list recently, have to examine what makes a movie both bad and one I can enjoy because of that. There were a few different directions I could’ve gone with this list. I could’ve picked some films universally considered to be bad that I like and I don’t care who knows it (A few of those can be found here). I could’ve picked the rare film that’s so bad that it’s good, which in my mind are few and far between, and I won’t argue if you believe there’s no such thing.

What I decided to do instead was to pick movies that I find to be bad, however, that I still enjoy certain things about them (badness included), and in many cases I have given them more than one viewing due to their uniquely awesome awfulness.

Now, without much further ado, my selections:

Troll 2 (1990)

To put it simply, Troll 2 was the first movie that ever struck me as being so bad that I had to have it. That and its all out ridiculousness are what really prompted me to acquire it after I randomly saw it on TV. Little did I know at the time that I was not alone in my ‘enjoyment’ of it. Only when I read online about Best Worst Movie‘s impending release did I learn about its cult status. For that alone, it belongs here because that doc proves there’s something unique about bad movies as opposed to other artforms, and the fact that Stephenson embraced the phenomenon and spun it into something quite special makes it even better.

This Island Earth (1955)

The story I have with this movie is a bit similar to the one above; I only came to know This Island Earth through Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie. Later on, I learned that it was seen by some as a bit of a controversial choice as it does have a legion of admirers, and I started noticing it popping up in many films like E.T. and Explorers.

However, when you’ve seen something enough (and sometimes it doesn’t have to be that much) it’s easy enough to separate how bad it is from how bad MST3K is making it look. The film is quite silly, it’s characters range from transparent to dimensionless, the dialogue ranges from trite to awkward and it’s more unintentionally funny than anything else.

When thinking upon it, I can see the attraction to some, but it’s no Forbidden Planet or anything of that ilk in my book. This is a movie I’d find hilarious without MST3K’s help. However, the dialogue, the characters, the pauses and the plot all serve up so many softballs that the guys really hit it out of the park early and often. It is almost as if the movie was made to be lampooned by them. In fact, a friend of mine unfamiliar with both this film and the MST3K format, thought it was!

Essentially, it’s the kind of bad movie you could never, ever hate, but I do find it bad and hilarious. “Not even a moth equipped with a lighting bug could fly through that!” says Joe about the fog. Hilarious indeed.

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

This entry is one of quite a bit of distinction; when I was writing a paper on Stephen King in a horror/sci-fi class I made this film the fulcrum because not only is it the only feature film King ever directed, but it’s also based on one of his short stories, “Trucks.”

Partially due to the paper, I’ve seen this film quite a few times. Try as I might to like it, and though I can find good in it, it’s a film where I have to agree with his own assessment of it; it’s not good. However, it’s the kind of not good worthy of repeat viewings simply due to some of the factors involved: His direction, an on camera appearance by Yeardley Smith (aka The voice of Lisa Simpson), Emilio Esteves’s awesomeness, the AC/DC score, the vending machine kill, Holter Graham, Pat Hingle, Stephen King’s almost Creepshow-over-the-top cameo, and some of the humor.

By this point, I’ve listed so much stuff that you’d wonder what makes it bad? Well, the story just doesn’t work, it’s not one of his better short stories to start with and the film ends up being too scattered to be as effective as it could be. For a more in-depth explication, I will be posting the aforementioned paper in a serialized format in September.

Santa’s Slay (2005)

Here’s one I did a 61 Days of Halloween post on. This movie is essentially what this list is about for the most part; if you’re going to go down, go down with guns blazing. You’d think that a film that featured wrestler-turned-actor Goldberg as Santa would have that as its weirdest component, but that’s not nearly the oddest thing about this film. This film is essentially about how Santa’s homicidal maniac tendencies have been thwarted by the fact that he lost a game of something akin to curling 1000 years ago. The casting is odd, but at times inspired and features a good turn by Douglas Smith, and it is trying to be funny often and succeeds. Therefore, it’s one of the better bad movies on this list.

Tourist Trap (1979)

Another way of sneaking on to the list aside from general watchability, some originality and being funny is by having one truly standout scene. Tourist Trap after a while just doesn’t cut it for me, it really doesn’t. However, I will always recall the plaster death scene. It’s the kind of thing that can redeem the decision to watch the movie in its entirety. The rest of it is either been there done that or not really that well executed, but this one idea, is sure to get under almost anyone’s skin and is truly well done.

The next five will be up tomorrow!