Batman v. Superman: Everyone Loses

Much in the way that Batman v. Superman attempts to create pathos in thumbnail sketches and create drama through shorthand, I figured I’d share my disappointments in it in an equally sketchy way.

Secondly, the lack of timeliness of this posts owes itself to two things: One, I recently spoke of the film with my brother, whom had just seen it on Amazon, so some people may be discovering it in general and two, because it’s never too late to see a movie,per Edgar Wright, and as such never too late to discuss it.


Yeah, Batman apparently uses guns in this one too. Because why not make a thing that was never a thing suddenly a thing. 

Here are my observations. First, in general terms:

Eisenberg is an annoyance rather than a legitimate threat. I attended this film with two kids. When those two kids (ages 10 and a 13) insist Lex Luthor is the Joker, and you can’t blame them, maybe the interpretation of the character is off. Regardless of what the actor.

The title is pumped up nonsense that is half-pointless. The battle between the two is wholly avoidable and like many sequences far too drawn out. It’s thin on character and humor but not the unmitigated disaster 2015’s “Fantastic Four” was in terms of superhero films.


The latest run in the Batman series could learn a thing or two about how it’s OK to go away from a vocal decision mid-franchise. One of many issues with the second installation of the Narnia series is the decision to make Castilian accents double as otherworldly. I’m not for doubling down at all costs on creative decisions. It could’ve been changed.

Snyder’s equation if things go boom equals drama is in force so often that it dulls the senses. I can only 9/11 flinch so much before I can’t 9/11 flinch no more. While I appreciate that the film did build on Superman’s wanton destructiveness from the prior film the weariness of that and 9/11 exploitation is as real as superhero fatigue and this film plays into both things.

However, even if it got away with those things. It is far too drawn out. It’s an over-stuffed sausage of a film. It tries to do far too much lifting both to expand the DC cinematic universe too fast. One example is the fact that within the third act they decide to insert Doomsday, whose pursuit of and battle with Superman was a whole comic book arc, and here it’s a truncated add-on.


Are these wonderful toys?

But that aspect alone is not enough to arrest forward momentum of a narrative. Take a simplistic understanding of characters and their conflict and conflate and a film can seem bloated anyway, then add a shortcut franchising when we are introduced randomly to other members of the Justice League to be and it just gets worse.

The inconsistency in vision in cinematic-universe building is not just implicit in the deficiencies that Snyder suffers from as a filmmaker but also from having an architect in the director’s chair rather than doing as Marvel does and building from the top down and finding director’s who inherently “gets” the character they’re working with.

You can’t create a plot wormhole in building a cinematic universe. Just because Warners seems jealous of Marvel’s head-start and the fact that they had the patience, guts, and foresight to build to a phase conclusion doesn’t mean we as an audience want one sub-par origin, one immobile versus film leading into what looked like may be the best team film they’ve made, Suicide Squad (and then that too was another massive disappointment), and then the Justice League.


If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman?

Batman is a flexible character, but this film decides to play him as similar to the recent incarnation as possible, while still regurgitating his origin story, which we know Moreover, we see it unfold slowly, and in a far more entertaining way on television.

Batman has never been so uninteresting, it’s hard to believe Goyer had anything to do with it.

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