Month: October 2011

61 Days of Halloween- Child’s Play 2

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Child’s Play

In stark contrast to the first installment of this series Child’s Play 2 gets off on the wrong foot and never really rights itself. It all starts very early on. How and why Chucky comes back to life is never confirmed. At the end of the first we assume that he was shot through the heart and hence he was dead. Granted he is becoming more human within the doll all the time but this concern is never addressed. If we want to suspend disbelief we must be left to assume the bullet just missed.

Whether it was a business decision or an aesthetic one all that happens is we are told that Miss Barclay, Andy’s mom, had a nervous breakdown and was institutionalized and never see her either get to that point or where she is. It is understandable to want Andy isolated in this tale so that he faces more adversity. However, we as an audience can be let in on it so it is to an extent a piece of the tale which could be very compelling is far too overlooked.

If the first two strikes against it weren’t enough well there’s more. The climactic fight takes things back to the toy factory where Chucky was cleaned up. This battle has the same issue the battle in the first film had. You have to kill Chucky, or believe you killed him, three times to really kill him and yes, revisionists, I’m aware that he’s not really dead but you catch my drift.

The dialogue for the most part in this film is just lazy with some gems like “Get lost microchip,” it’s the kind of thing that wouldn’t even have been funny in the 80s. A new director was at the helm and it was definitely noticeable. This film just doesn’t move as assuredly and a lot of the supporting performances are just off.

The one redeeming quality is that the character of Kyle (Christine Elise) who had the trappings of a typically snotty, annoyance of a character ends up being pretty cool and an ally of Andy’s and the only other good performance aside from Alex Vincent. The parents and Brad Dourif fell into the decent categories with occasional slips to lower stratifications.

It is a sluggish disappointment of a film. The first film set the framework up for how a tale of this nature could be made to work and it was completely ignored.

4/10

61 Days of Halloween- Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Danielle Harris in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (Universal)

This installment immediately starts off on the wrong foot with a pulled punch. We back track and see what Jamie really did do and it lightens the blow severely and nearly retroactively damages the previous film.

This film suffers from lulls. Michael is quite absent and when he appears he is all too visible. Many of the kills occur offscreen and corpses are discovered later.

The corpse shock scene, where our hero discovers Michael’s victims after their death, is a staple of this series but this installment goes to the well one too many times, at least.

This film is less of a slasher film than the others in the series and while that change is welcome and perhaps even necessary, the drama and traditional horror we are left with need to be equally as compelling and it is not.

Jamie’s symbiosis with Michael never fully gets addressed or explained yet in this installment it gets amplified. In a film like E.T. that sort of explanation isn’t necessary as we are dealing with extraterrestrial life. Here a theory or even a guess would’ve been welcome.

There are also several protracted bogus scares in this film which are a complete and utter waste of time and are not an adequate substitute for a lack of involvement by Michael himself in the film.

This film even goes so far as to include a car chase which is so far removed from what makes this series work that it’s not even funny. This just exemplifies some of the screenplay issues that this particular installment was faced with.

One thing this film does have going for it is that it isn’t replete with people you’d like to see die so there is a minimal investment in the film in that way but there are so many problems that you’re almost surprised they didn’t break Michael’s connection to Halloween and have him show up in mid-November instead.

Near the end he actually does shed the tears that he shouldn’t be able to. Part II handled it right with a bullet to the head forcing blood out his mask’s eyeholes.

To close it up the penultimate showdown between Michael and Jamie is in a laundry chute. It was as uncomfortable to watch as I’m sure it was to shoot and then of course you have the end.

The ending is a cop out where there is yet another explosion but that’s all. Again somewhat like Part II only nowhere near as effective. You see nothing. Just flames and we end. It’s no wonder that no one wanted to pick up and run with this series immediately following that point, it was not a high. Not at all.

1/10

61 Days of Halloween- Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Danielle Harris in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (Universal)

So here you have the return of Michael Myers to the Halloween series. For my opinion of the nomenclature issues that faced Part III and how I loved Part III regardless go here.

One thing that is worth noting about the Halloween series is that their pace of production has frequently fallen behind that of the Friday the 13th series and perhaps event the Nightmare on Elm Street films, which has allowed I believe for a greater consistency. In fact, I heartily applaud the recent decision to postpone plans for Halloween 3D due to scheduling so it can be done right as opposed to fast.

What is interesting is that this film marks the beginning of the Jamie Lloyd section of films. Much like the Friday the 13th films had their Tommy Jarvis sections.

This edition starts with Michael being transferred anew. More precautions are taken but adding to his legend this does do any good and he manages to get out.

Typically, the Halloween films worked hard to give Michael legitimate reason to get out and go on a rampage. Sometimes they worked a bit too hard trying to explain and you wonder how he knew but at least he was given motive and is not merely a killing machine.

This also begins the section of the films where Loomis starts fighting wars on two fronts. One with the medical establishment who does not take his warnings seriously enough and with the cops who place blame on him for being Myers’ doctor.

While it may strike some as a little convenient that Loomis hitches a ride with a preacher it is an interesting little interlude that lends some depth to the film. While in any other context the preachers warnings and admonishments might seem a little absurd in the context of Michael Myers they make perfect sense.

While we do see Jamie teased some at the beginning there is not enough of a connection established to her such that we identify enough with her. So we want for her to escape from Michael’s clutches only because she is an innocent and not because we know her.

This film also tries to create this E.T.-like symbiosis between Michael and Jamie that doesn’t quite work. It’s a bit of a leap of faith.

This is also where the series starts to make cross-film tricks. In the first Halloween you knew he got away. That was the shocking twist at the end. Here there was little evidence to suggest survival except that you knew there’d be another movie.

The twist here will be lightened in the next film. Of the pair this is clearly the better film as this chapter of the tale doesn’t close as successfully as the previous one.

6/10

61 Days of Halloween: Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Bradley Schachter in Halloween III: Season of the Witch (Universal)

The first thing that immediately comes to mind when I think of Halloween III: The Season of the Witch is the old Shakespeare quote “What’s in a name?” Apparently the answer to many a film fan, especially devotees of the horror genre, is a lot.

The fact of the matter is I cannot completely absolve the decision to tag this film as part of the Halloween franchise, however, I do not feel it defines the film. In fact, the first time I saw this film was during a Halloween marathon and I had no prior knowledge so I did keep waiting for Michael Myers and though I eventually realized he would not be there it still didn’t ruin the experience for me.

The sad part is the title cost the film. If it had just been labeled Season of the Witch, which has every bit as much to do with it as Halloween (which is not a great deal), people might’ve been able to judge it for what it is and maybe there would’ve been a sequel to examine the aftermath of the diabolical plan. It also caused Part 4 to be subtitled: The Return of Michael Myers because this film had been lumped into the series.

It’s hard to think of a horror concept more perfectly suited for the 1980s. It all hinges on commercialism and cynicism surrounding consumerism. Yet it is also in a way about the ubiquity of television in a day and age when there was no real choice, which plays brilliantly into the plot.

Like many films in the series, however, it does deal with the countdown concept of the approaching holiday. It does so more effectively though as the countdown to Halloween is an intrinsic part of the story which is embodied in a catchy jingle and as we learn more the jingle becomes more and more dreadful.

Perhaps another place where there is a disconnect surrounding this film is that it operates on a more antiquated notion that explanations are overrated when the occurrences within the tale are frightening enough. What is the goo? Why are there spiders? How can the stones target their victims? These are all questions that you walk away with but the answers are virtually irrelevant. What matters is the impact of the story, which is massive. I’ve seen this film a handful of times and the end still leaves my skin acrawl with goosebumps.

When you get right down to the nitty gritty of horror most people are only concerned about one thing: the kills. Some of them in this film are truly memorable and one, when you learn the nature of the mask, is truly iconic.

While within the chronology the film does get to October 29th rather quickly the information does mount steadily enough from that point on that the pace never does suffer.

The music in this version, though also a departure, is quite successful and the return of Dean Cundey behind the camera assures some brilliant imagery.

What is also interesting is that the city of Santa Mira where the Silver Shamrock factory is located is rendered as sort of a cinematic precursor to Gatlin, Nebraska in the Children of the Corn. Its citizens virtual automatons who are functionaries of the company and who look with disdain on any outsider.

There are concrete facts that could be discussed further but what is most interesting about this film is that it floats many big ideas: How this could possibly be the last Halloween, The size of the cataclysm intimated by what the TV ratings may be and also the notion of simulacrum as a few times on TV you see that the world premiere of the Halloween will be airing.

This is a film that while it doesn’t technically belong within the series is still one that ought not be overlooked or underrated.

9/10

61 Days of Halloween- Child’s Play

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Child’s Play

Alex Vincent in Child's Play (United Artists)

This retrospective is valuable in part because it has allowed for revisiting of many titles. This particular film was one I’d seen in a very piecemeal manner, which is no way to see any film but especially when dealing with a concept like this. Seeing Child’s Play in pieces will only highlight parts of the narrative which suspension of disbelief will get you through.

Structurally this film works absolutely perfectly. Things move along at a brisk pace and cause and effect up until the climax are very clear. All you really have to get past is your own faculties of reasoning and you see that many things in this film do in fact work.

Now while as a child, who was not technically supposed to be seeing any part of this film, it did scare me, as it should, even removing that it still works whether you are scared by the subject matter or not which is not always the case with horror films.

Disbelief amongst characters is a factor in horror films that can be quite frustrating. When evidence is piling up and events that defy rational explanation are happening but people don’t believe it can be frustrating as an audience member. This film deals with that notion in an interesting way. The reveal of Chucky’s nature to Andy is rather slow. Andy’s not doubted long before his babysitter meets her untimely demise. It’s a kill of a character whom is not disposable, someone who we have met and liked so it’s effective.

Though Andy is refuted both by his mother and the police but his mother quickly sees the light. The reveal of the doll missing batteries after Andy is held for examination is visual and stunning. Similarly Detective Norris’s doubts are allayed when he narrowly escapes death at the hands of the possessed doll but he plays it close to the vest upon re initiating contact with Miss Barclay.

So very slowly but most importantly steadily the circle of believers grows. As the circle of believers grows so does Chucky’s rampaging. Another asset this film has at its disposal is a distinct set of rules, which are blatantly disregarded in the sequel, and the antagonist’s want is clearly defined. Conversely Andy’s need changes, at first he wants the doll then he wants to be believed and wants to be with his mother anew.

All the comedy of the film comes through design. The only things that truly hold it back are that the final showdown with Chucky is overly-long, as he appears to be vanquished twice and comes back to life but it is allowed to be that long because all those fighting him weren’t recalling or acting upon the biggest rule given to them by the dying witch doctor: shoot him in the heart. It’s not until his last stand that attempts are made at that hit.

Otherwise, though it is a truly effective and accomplished work by director Tom Holland and his two co-writers Don Lafia and Don Mancini.

7/10

61 Days of Halloween- Halloween II (1981)

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II (Univeral Pictures)

What is interesting to note about the second Halloween film is that much like the Friday the 13th series it rewinds and replays the end of the previous film. This film does so to great affect because it doesn’t go back too far or splice it up it only backtracks the necessary amount to be able to continue the story in exact chronological order. So in the world of this film it is still October 31, 1978 and the film does a tremendous job in creating a very believable continuity in all aspects.

Much like the first film, and many horror films, there is an homage on a TV and you see clips from Night of the Living Dead.

Part of what makes this film interesting is that it starts with the media not yet having released that it is Michael Myers. So his legend is not yet re-popularized, which does mean you need to make a leap of faith when you see that someone is walking about dressed like him. The first seems to indicate the jumpsuit is acquired from a trucker. This potential hole aside the scene is still tremendously effective because later you do see the medical examination of the charred corpse and also because it ends up being Bennett Tramer, Lori’s crush who is merely mentioned in the first film.

This is also the first real taste you get of the vilification of Dr. Loomis. The police show a lot of, if not infallible, patience in the first film. Here Myers affects them personally and they lash out at Loomis.

The flow of news that’s being disseminated is very well handled from news stand ups to snippets overheard from a boom box. It reflects the widening of Myers’s scope. While this widening is well handled it’s part of what makes this film not quite the first. While it is very chilling throughout there was a certain sense of claustrophobia that was created by focusing on two babysitting assignments on either side of a street in the first film that is better and absent here.

The cinematography in this film is perhaps even better than the first. An advantage of the changed scope is that Dean Cundey is given a wider variety of canvases upon which to paint.

What propels the series in this edition is the twist it provides. It provides Michael both in the original and in this installment with motivation that goes beyond just simple revenge. It is also different as it provides a twist to the nature or identity of the victim as opposed to the villain.

There is more, however, which makes this a truly special film not only in horror but in the realm of sequels. This film also has an iconic moment, more a concept really, and that is finding the word “samhain” written in blood on an elementary school chalkboard.

What is perhaps best about the character of Lori Strode is that she always seems to very genuinely connect with the audience, which is not merely a function of her being played by Jamie Lee Curtis. It is also due in part to the fact that she very often reflects the audience’s thoughts: “He is the Boogeyman,” or in this film “Why won’t he die?” and because it’s Jamie Lee Curtis it sounds like a genuine question and not a punchline from an Austin Powers film.

Lori is also able to distract Michael long enough to get him offguard by showing she knows who he is. In what could’ve been a move that took it over the top Michael is shot in the head and blood runs out of his mask’s eye holes and represent the tears he cannot shed. It does work, however, because his action belies that seeming representation of emotion. However, he was stopped when he saw he was recognized.

This film also makes Loomis, despite all the failings he’s had whether they were his fault or not, its hero as he manages to stop Michael (or so it seems) even in the final confrontation there is a great image and moment to be had.

While it doesn’t quite live up to its predecessor it does do right by the story, concept and its characters.

8/10

61 Days of Halloween- Halloween (1978)

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Halloween (1978)

At times it can be almost more difficult to write about a great movie than it can be to write a mediocre or terrible one. That, however, is not the case when it comes to John Carpenter’s Halloween.

So much in this film works to absolute perfection. It starts right off the bat with the theme. It is not only one of the best themes in the horror genre but in cinema and furthermore there are variations on it such that the entire score is fantastic.

The film starts, of course, with the brilliant prologue which shows Michael’s genesis. There is tremendous use of POV in this scene and also silently the character is being built. Many a horror villain are too chatty. What separates Myers and Voorhees is their silence which amplifies the fear factor. What sets Myers apart is that he never has anyone acting on his behalf he is always “evil incarnate” as Dr. Loomis calls him. Which helps make the prologue more shocking and why it lands high on this list (don’t follow the link if you haven’t seen the film).

The prologue ends in a near cinematic tableau as we are allowed to absorb the awe of what we just witnessed. The story recommences 15 years later. Loomis is introduced and immediately another brilliantly staged and crafted scene breaks out where you see Michael in his present state.

Following this is where Haddonfield and its characters are introduced. The first two sections are played in darkness but then Loomis chasing Michael, Loomis talking to authorities, Laurie Strode’s day and Michael’s following are played in daylight. Night falls for good in the 35th minute of the film and from thereon in horror film history is made.

It can not be overstated that what makes the most effective horror films nine times out of ten is building character and concept. Loomis both in trying to get people to understand what they’re dealing with reveals some of what his experience has been and how he’s become not so much jaded as aware.

What should not be overlooked is all the talk about the boogeyman. It may be too easy to slough this aside as childish nonsense, however, the film makes it perfectly clear by the end that it’s as good a description as you’re likely to get.

Part of what makes Michael Myers such an iconic figure is that he really does get under your skin. He watches you when you don’t realize it, when you think you caught him he vanishes and he comes out of nowhere with some of the best entrances you can ask for in cinema. It truly is spine-tingling stuff. Furthermore these entrances while accompanied by SFX and music don’t crank the volume up so loud that that’s what scares you. That’s what I call a false scare. In this film music and effects underscore what is scaring you which is Myers.

It’s hard to think of a third act in a horror film which has more memorable, shocking and iconic moments. There is Judith Myer’s tombstone, the double-scare corpses and the shadow lurking. Yet it doesn’t stop there. Right at the end there are four extraordinarily memorable moments which to not give too much away I will similarly label: He is the Boogeyman, The Unscored Moment (where the silence makes the visual even more frightening), Vanish and The Breathing Montage.

It’s about as well-crafted as a film, regardless of genre, can be. It spawned a slew of imitators and it attacks primal fears on so many levels. There’s not much like Halloween and even with the ups and downs of the franchise it is likely the best horror series ever.

10/10

61 Days of Halloween- Masters of Horror: The V Word

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Masters of Horror: The V Word

Arjay Smith and Branden Nadon in Masters of Horror: The V Word (Starz Productions)

Now all that was previously said about this series is true. Even when you get one of these films that don’t quite work there is something to latch on to and take with you which isn’t always the case with other films. This film is inconsistent at best with regard to the tale it tells. While it does manipulate time well extending sequences for dramatic effect overall, however, when you take into consideration this film has less time than a traditional feature to work with it ends up being a detriment because it helps make for an anticlimactic end to the tale.

What you can hold onto in this film is that it is a rare kind in a horror film, which allows the characters to fully absorb the reality of their plight and to react to it emotionally.

The cinematography much of the time is uninspired, for example, at the start there is a tiresome series of rack focuses between hands of one friend playing a video game and the other texting.

Where this film falls into the realm of mediocre at best is what happens after the two friends leave the morgue. There is a very hard to swallow sequence with a series of attempted 911 calls all of which are disbelieved. It falls short both because of how it is written and because of the performance which is believable and makes the operator’s disbelief harder to swallow. There is also a mom who is far too slow on the uptake that something is seriously wrong with her son. The scene plays out for too long before its addressed. Not to mention the bloodstain which is explained away as something else and not investigated.
 
This is also a film, as is typically the case, with pretty good effects when they decided to do things practically and not so great results when it comes to CG.

If you’re a completist and make it a point to watch this whole series, which I highly recommend, then this film shouldn’t be high up on your list. If you’re just looking for really good horror look elsewhere.

3/10

61 Days of Halloween- Teeth

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Teeth

John Hensley and Jess Wexler in Teeth (Roadside Attractions)

Teeth is an interesting little horror film, which deals with the uncomfortable myth of vagina dentata. It is clearly the kind of subject that can not be dealt with on film without a little gore, though perhaps more was in order at times not to give too much away and it is to be forewarned it is not for the squeamish. Similarly it is not the kind of topic that can be dealt with without some humor and it does that as well.

It does set itself up slowly albeit perhaps too slowly. It starts with a little episode with two little kids, those who end up being our protagonist and antagonist. What’s great is that this little teaser directly influences the film and is referenced cleverly later on. The way this episode influences these two characters is also interesting. Dawn becomes an abstinence advocate and Brad has very particular proclivities.

What does become interesting is that Dawn does have a bit of a transformation she goes from being fearful of her own sexuality and abnormality and in typical genre fashion comes to embrace it in a very twisted way. In a tale of this nature it is clearly a male nightmare but it does manage, to an extent, to examine a woman’s fears and does play to both sides a little which is unusual.

If you can deal with some gruesomeness you find there’s a little more than meets the eye in this film and what’s better is that not everything is blatantly obvious in this film and we are allowed to glean a few things. While it does take a little bit to get going and some things aren’t handled as crisply as they could be but it’s still worth it.

7/10

61 Days of Halloween- Satan’s Little Helper

Posted on by bernardovillela

Most holidays worth their while encompass entire seasons, such as Christmas, for example. However, as you may have noticed there is a corporate push every year for us to think about the next holiday even sooner. While this has many negative side effects I figure I may as well embrace it.

Since Labor Day is really only good for college football and movie marathons cinematically it is as significant as Arbor Day, which means the next big day on the calendar is Halloween and we can start looking toward it starting now.

Daily I will be viewing films in the horror genre between now and then and sharing the wealth. Many, as is usually the case, will not be worth it so for every disappointment so I will try and suggest something worth while as well.

Satan’s Little Helper

Alexander Brickel in Satan's Little Helper (American World Pictures)

This is the kind of film that best illustrates the dangers of Netflix instant streaming (Not currently available on Netflix instant). You scroll over to it and click on it thinking “Oh, maybe this will be so bad it’s funny.” Then you start watching it and realize you’re in trouble. It’s just bad and it’s like a car wreck you may want to stop looking but you can’t and sadly I sat through this whole thing if only to warn others so that they may avoid the same fate.

Perhaps the first thing that needs to be stated is that it just may be that Douglas “Dougie” Whooly is the dumbest character in the history of cinema. In this film this supposedly nine-year-old kid walks about obliviously as the Devil himself kills people and he thinks it’s all pretend, a set-up. As if that isn’t bad enough when he finally does get wise to what’s really happening he still makes stupid mistakes, which leads us to our terrible and predictable ending which include two whole lines spoken over a black screen.

The dialogue is absolutely atrocious in this film from the incessant repetition of “That looks so real!” as Dougie is witness and accessory to another murder to the overly frank conversations about how Dougie still wants to marry his sister and the jokes about big sister’s “boomies.”

The score is completely unoriginal and the opening piece in this film sounds like the rendition of “Dies Irae,” which was in The Shining.

There is also bad animation in this film. I mean really bad. I mean like animation that makes Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist looks like MC Escher. As if that wasn’t bad enough we’re supposed to think this animation is a video game. A video game called “Satan’s Little Helper,” oh that’s the title, I get it!

However, this film is also educational. There is so much you can learn like how many times can you get your head slammed into a brick wall and not die and how many points is bowling over and elderly woman with a shopping cart worth.

Also, if your passion lies in prosthetic work you should watch this film to learn how not to make fake guts because this film has perhaps the worst example ever filmed.

As if it wasn’t made clear already that the concept is downright terrible but there is also a few logic flaws. The biggest of which being that everyone on this island both knows how many cops there are in the local PD and that they’re all dead.

About the only positive thing I can say in this film’s favor is that it is good for the occasional laugh, some of which are actually by design that and the mask the Devil wears. All that, however, does not excuse the terrible quality of this film.

I’ve seen some bad movies that looked pretty good. Films where the cinematography at least kept me interested. No risk of that happening here because it video and poorly shot video. The kind of video that shows you why it’s still film’s weak sister.

The cherry on top is that there’s a nice little touch of blasphemy too. I will spare you the details as all that precedes this should be enough to steer you clear. If curiosity gets the best of you, godspeed and get well soon.

1/10